Does anyone remember the Secret? (I would normally place a link here but I think they have made enough money already. Also, everyone knows how to Google, right?)
The Secret was "discovered" by Rhonda Byrne, an Australian TV producer, in 2004.
Now, let me save you AUD$34.95 (which is the going price for the book on their Australian website) and explain the Secret in a nutshell: you attract what you think about most.
Positive thoughts bring positive things (money, love, success), and negative thoughts bring negative things (tragedy, illness, another season of Big Brother). Basically, you visualise what you want to come into your life.
Now, the idea of the power of positive thinking, of manifesting your dreams, of asking the Universe for what you want, whatever you want to call it, has existed in books and mantras and philosophies for decades, even centuries (trust the
self-help book addict here).
What impresses me is that Byrne has managed to repackage this idea so well. She has picked one of the best titles you could have for a book/movie (who doesn't like secrets?) and coupled it with an equally tantalising cover. The book looks like a tome from the Da Vinci Code, with a wax seal partially hiding holy light beams, similar to those emanating from the Ark of the Covenant*. Scanty light beams are a marketer's dream. They show illumination and mystery and promise. What could be the source of that light? Angels? Aliens? A topless Michael Vartan (only in my dreams)?
Of course, I'm just jealous I didn't think of it first.**
One of the Secret's big breaks came when Rhonda Byrne appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show.
How does that Lao Tse saying go again?
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Get him and the fish on Oprah and he will be able to buy his own fleet of whaling ships."
Suddenly the Secret was everywhere, on TV, in magazines and on the Internet.
I was listening to the radio one morning, when the DJs asked for people to call in with stories about how the Secret had worked in their lives. One lady phoned them up and said that she had really wanted to buy a ute***, and the Secret had made it come true.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Of course not, you are a much nicer person than I am.
Now, I didn't have a tape recorder on me, or a notebook (I was driving at the time, and my hair cut was already a traffic hazard), so I am going to take the liberty of paraphrasing this lady's story.
"I really wanted that ute."
"And I thought about it really hard."
"And I sold some stuff and saved up some money."
"Then I looked and looked and found one cheap."
"And I bought it!"
So, you mean you set yourself an achievable goal ... and planned for it ... and then achieved it? Holy Toledo!
All hail the Secret!
Now, mind you, I am not here to pooh-pooh the mystical secrets of the Universe. I once practised a form of the Secret, and what I wished for came frighteningly true.
Now remember, this is a true story.
A frighteningly true story.
Like many people, I am forever struggling with my weight. I made a pact with myself that I would stop buying chocolate biscuits and only eat them if they appeared at social functions, or when someone offered me one.
A few days later, I became restless and chocolate-deprived, and said out loud, "Oh great Universe, this is Angie. I know that You are mighty and all-powerful, and I wish for chocolate biscuits to manifest themselves in abundance, but in such a manner that I don't have to break my pact with myself."
The next day, there was a morning tea at my workplace and lo, there appeared four types of chocolate biscuit.
That night, I went to a committee meeting for my sports group, and two varieties of chocolate biscuit were served.
Two days later, someone brought Tim Tams into the office, because he needed some change and thought he would buy a packet to share.
I started to feel a little ill.
"Oh great Universe!" I cried, my pimply, overstuffed jowls wobbling furiously. "I take it back! I beseech you, please halt this flood of chocolate biscuits."
And It did.
* Oh alright, the Ark of the Covenant from the Indiana Jones movie.
** Who am I kidding? With my attention span, I would have gotten as far as the title, and then become distracted by a packet of jelly babies.
*** That's a utility vehicle, such as a pickup truck, for our overseas readers.