To be good at anything in life usually requires that rare combination of natural talent and sheer perseverance. Condescension is no exception!
When someone is really rubbing you up the wrong way or you have had a particularly crappy day and just want to be left alone, quality condescension can really be just the ticket. If delivered correctly, a well chosen condescending line can have far more impact than a mere expletive or well-worn insult.
There are many life situations where a well timed and targeted piece of condescension can improve not only your own life but the lives of others around you. It could be in a meeting, at the football, out partying or at your partner's parents for dinner. Virtually any situation can quickly become an opportunity for you to use this delicate skill.
Be careful though as there is a fine line between success and failure. If you are too subtle then there is a chance no one will even notice and if you are too blunt then it will just come across as rude and insulting. The perfect result is a combination of quality content and quality delivery.
Below are 25 quality pieces of content to get you started. The quality delivery however is where the talent and perseverance part of the equation come in. I suggest you try practising on the family pet, dogs are particularly good for this, or if your are lucky enough to have one, a younger sibling. Good luck!
25 Gems of Condescension:
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable ... Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
21. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
22. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
23. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
24. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
If anyone else has a deserving addition or additions to this list then please add them via the comment box below.
Condescension courtesy of Lists Galore